The Scoop

Is your wedding about you or your guests?

by Emily Beers September 13, 2018

Is your wedding about you or your guests?

Emily Beers, Manager of Social Mayhem
Lover of free speech, cookies and cynicism
Is your wedding about you or your guests?
Imagine a vegan showed up to a wedding and every single dish being served was laced with some sort of meat: Bacon-wrapped prawns and tuna tar tar appetizers, salad littered with goat cheese as a first course, followed by lobster bisque, and topped off with a rare prime rib leaking blood and mashed potatoes slathered in beefy gravy. While that menu would be an absolute delight to my carnivore’s palate, even I can empathize with the poor vegan left pushing around the salad on her plate in search of a piece of lettuce that hasn’t been contaminated with cheese. We live in a way too politically-correct—and scared to offend—of a world these days that the latter seems unfathomable. We have become sensitive to the wishes of the non-meat-eaters among us, so we tend to throw them a few bones at dinner parties and weddings—ironic pun intended. Apparently, though, it doesn’t work the other way around.
I was subjected to a vegan wedding recently.
After proclaiming in their vows their intention of raising “ethical children,” (compared to the rest of us who are raising heathens, apparently?) they served an all-vegan “feast,” starting with a cold tomato soup (cold soup is a tough sell at the best of times). It’s not that I’m opposed to vegetarian or vegan food. In fact, I think we should all go vegetarian for a month to learn to cook great vegetables so that they’re not an afterthought to the protein of the day. And at the vegan wedding, the perrogies with the sour cream-ish type of sauce they served were indeed pretty tasty. However, to serve a meal to friends and family, who have traveled great distances and have spent hundreds of dollars to celebrate your day with you, based on your vegan values? Felt weak to me.
It brings up a broader question, as well: Who is your wedding for? Is it for the bride and groom, or is it for the guests?
I think it should be for the guests: They’re taking a day, a weekend, an entire week off sometimes, to celebrate you. They’re spending money on a new dress, on manicures and pedicures, on a shower and wedding gift, on flights and accommodation etc…to show you they care about you. Then in return, they’re forced to sit through an inevitably boring ceremony, as they get eaten by bugs in the dead heat of summer… If, like me, you have been to a couple dozen weddings in recent years, the excitement of celebrating another friend’s love, has long simmered. Though you might think you’re throwing the party of the year, you’re probably not, so the least you can do is provide your guests with a memorable meal, an open bar, and if you’re into wedding favours, then avoid giving them a lame and cliche one!
Wedding Favours: Worst to best
Worst: Anything with a picture of the couple
From coasters to mugs to a serving dish branded with an engagement shot of the happy couple…. Not only is having a singleton mug in your cupboard useless, how egotistical is the very concept? It assumes 100 people in your life want you and your partner permanently slapped on their coffee table on coasters?
Weak: Donation
While moderately better than a mug, this takes the “gift of giving” just a little too far. Nobody has ever NOT been slightly disappointed receiving a gift that tells them a donation has been made in their name. And just a heads-up, this is just as true at weddings as it is at Christmas.
Lame: Gadgets we have never once been in need of
Though you might think a wine stopper or a keychain is “practical,” they’re not. When was the last time you thought to yourself, “I could really use a wine stopper?” Or have you ever asked for a keychain for Christmas? Answers: Never and no. Most gadgets aren’t useful and will end up in the trash less than two weeks after your most memorable day.
Better: Anything home-made and edible
While chocolate or candy will usually get eaten, it’s a bit more special to give a homemade edible gift, such as jam or salsa or something like homemade steak seasoning. Go ahead and put your brand on it, as long as you don’t go so far as branding it with your picture. While many people still won’t make it through the jar salsa or jam, some will, plus it does show a little effort on your part.
Better still: Wine!
Wine is so simple, and you know it won’t go to waste. Again, you can personalize it by wrapping the wine bottle with your wedding brand. That way, your guests will remember where it came from and will think of you when they cheers a second time to your wedding wine. Sure beats thinking about them feeling guilty as they throw out whatever useless gadget they received as their favour at the last wedding. In fact, wine is only second to the one and only......
Best: Chomp a'Lomp cookies
Chomp a'Lomp, you can brand them with your wedding colours, logo, date etc. What makes them even better than wine, though, is the fact that you can take them home on an airplane in your carry-on, should many of your guests be flying in for your wedding. Second of all, wine has been done. It’s almost cliche. Chomp a'Lomp is new and unique. If you’re into being memorable… Contact us about your wedding here.

Emily Beers
Emily Beers


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